Kevin Smith will always remember his first ( hopefully not the last ) performance at Carnegie Hall. So will I but for different reasons. This is the night that life lead me to her. The date was June 17, 2009, the night I almost screwed it all up.
I've never been the guy to go out and find love. However, sitting at home and waiting for a beautiful woman to knock on my door proved to be rather fruitless. But it can happen. It's like watching the evening news to discover that you hit the winning lottery number.
She got my number from her mother and for whatever reason, she used it.
She's here for the summer, would like to see a friendly face.
I remember her from years back. A cute girl just out of school. I remember her smile, it was utterly charming.
"Sure, sounds great"
I've been thinking about seeing Kevin Smith at Carnegie Hall. Me and a few thousand socially inept geeks, gather to pay tribute to our conquering hero. Kevin represented us, the overweight, the undesirable, the ones that jocks pick on.
"Would you like to go see Kevin Smith with me?"
Really? She would? Must play it cool....
"Great, it's at 8pm. We can meet after I get out of work"
Really? She wants to meet for dinner? Wow, what luck! Play it cool...
Think... where to take her.... she's a vegetarian.....
"OK, we can meet at 23rd and Lexington"
Plenty of vegetarian Indian food. I hope she likes Indian.
We had a nice dinner, the conversation was lighthearted and strangely, I felt absolutely comfortable with her. Afterwards I got us completely lost trying to get to Carnegie Hall. No matter, I was happy. If I miss the performance entirely I wouldn't be bother a bit.
I wasn't sure that she would like Kevin's foul language and explicit humor. What a chance to take on a first non-date.
This wasn't a date. A date has expectations. A date ends in a kiss. A date happens when a woman express some interest after meeting a man. I've only met her briefly five year ago. She's the daughter of a close friend. I will respect that and treat her as my friend's daughter. The only problem is that I'm attracted to her.
During the entire 2.5 hour show, I stole glances to see if she is still laughing. Good. She's having a good time.
We went to a cafe afterwards. The time flew by and I was mesmerized. We chatted as if we were old friends.
When it was time to go, I wanted to walk her home. She accused me of playing into the typical gender role. In truth, I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with her.
Life imitates art, but in this case, my life was imitating every corny romantic film ever made. It started raining but we didn't have umbrellas. It was late. We were drenched. When we reached her building, I leaned in to give her a hug and a peck on the cheek.
Then I completely dropped the ball. Why didn't I learn anything from all those movies? From Fred Astaire to Ben Affleck the protagonist kisses the girl at this very crucial moment. She held on to me for what seemed an eternity but probably lasted less than a minute. But in that minute, I ran every scenario through my mind. I saw us in the embrace, lips locked, eyes closed tight, the rain streamed from my hat to her dress, her gloved hands draped around my neck, the camera pans back to reveal the street light above us, steady downpour, lightening strikes, and the scene dims to reveal the end credits.
But I didn't have the guts. I remembered who she is, and I left our embrace. She touched my face and I wanted so badly to kiss her but I could not.
That perfectly corny ending was lost because I threw it away. How could I do such a thing? I could have been the hero of every cheesy romance novel. I knew she wanted that kiss and I was sure that she would never give me another chance.
But she did... That was 10 days ago and since then she has showered me with countless kisses. Not too often you get a second chance. But I got it twice. I got a second chance at life, and now a second chance at love.
I don't know how long this will last. I hope at least until September. Soon I will have to prepare myself for the inevitable heartbreak but I will have no regrets. Even if I never see her again, I will have this memory. It's a short love story that ends tragically, but when I tell it again, I will have kissed her in the rain.
Kevin, if you are reading this, I owe you one.
